What it feels like to fall off the face of the earth- August 28, 2006

Well, here I am.

Questions of "Where have you been?" and "What have you been up to?" will attempt to be answered.

If there's anyone still left to read this...

~ ~ ~

So, I'm home.

Home now for something like three weeks or so.

The shock of coming home didn't sink in for the first 24 hours. It all felt surreal, really. When we first drove away from the ship to the airport, I was ok. Nathan and I requested early departure, for some odd reason. My reasoning must have followed that old band-aid adage- the quicker it happens the less it will hurt.

But after a few hours at the airport, a nagging feeling of "I really should be getting back to the ship now" crept quietly over me.

After a few more hours, on the plane home, a nagging feeling of "Where is everyone I know?" slipped over me.
I tried to sleep to pass the time.
And pass that lonely feeling.

When I landed, a horde of butterflied converged in my stomach. Why I was so nervous to see the one person I had been missing and daydreaming the most about in six months will never be fully explained to me, but seeing Levi again after so long was like meeting him all over again in so many ways.

Driving home felt like watching tv. In fact, the first week felt entirely surreal. Seeing my parents, outside of their tiny picture frame they used to inhabit on my desk in my cabin on board, was overwhelming. Seeing my unchanged room felt like walking into a museum for someone who had departed, dearly. Holding my cat and feeling her warmth left me feeling completely detached. I felt like I was controlling my body from afar for about a week.

The new arrangement of the city didn't help the feeling. Driving around town, reaquanting myself with the city I had spend my entire life in, I found new buildings cropping up in unexpected places. Later, when I tried to find my way, I found that the interstate had mysterously lost onramps and sprouted new exits. Who new a city could change so much in a few short months?

The most unsettling feeling of that first week back was the lack of those oh-so familiar faces. My roomate, my cast, my friends in the cruise division, even those random crew members who I didn't know so well but said hi to anyway... especially those too-friendly security guys. Every time I left my house I half expected to see them at the gangway... Every time I walked around in public, I expected to see people from the ship like we would in port... Every time I walked into my room I half expected my roomate to be there, or at least Nathan, sitting on the floor with his laptop... but it was all to no avail.

I really miss my cast and shows. The first Thursday back, especially. I felt like an amputee must feel after losing a limb. I felt a phantom show going on somewhere in my body, with refrians of "Rock on Broadway" lingering somewhere in my muscles.

~ ~ ~

The strangeness has faded somewhat.
Everything feels comfortable again.
But it's still hard to look at the pictures. And I'm not sure why.

The shock of leaving everything I've known so intimately for six months, especially my cast, was, and is still I guess, something to recon with.

And my lack of reliable internet hasn't helped either...

Excuses not withstanding, here I am.

To conclude, and fully update, I got a job the first day I got back. I walked into my friend Maggie's sake lounge to ask about my photo show later this year and she promptly offered me a job doing "PR" work... which basically encompassed walking around the lounge and making sure everyone was having a good time.

Easy. And Fun.

And I get to hang out with her, and my friends, and get paid for it.
Fantastic.

I'm back at Capone's as well, dancing while tourists chew with their mouths open in amazement.
It's not as glamorous as it sounds...

I'm also babysitting, in my tradition of having 18 jobs at once.
And writing for a couple magazines. (Or trying to, at least.)

I went to four auditions and landed them all, amazingly.

And last Friday, every theme park in Orlando (except, noteably, the Holy Land) called and offered me a job in their park.

These included:
1) Role: Jellyfish Show: Spooktacular Theme Park: Sea World
2) Role: Zombie Show: Halloween Horror Nights Theme Park: Universal
3) Role: Animated Character Show: Streemosphere Theme Park: Universal
4) Role: Substitute dancer Show: New Castle Show Theme Park: Disney

Then, a few hours later, Disney called back.
With a new offer.

4.2) Role: Part-time dancer Show: New Castle Show Theme Park: Disney

(Oh, and Royal Caribbean offered me the Vision in March to Alaska for four months... so we'll see about all that...)

So, I'm sort of employed. I start at Disney next week.

wee.

But I miss the ship, I won't lie. I miss my friends the most.
My cramped room and bad food never had much of a draw.
(Although Katie and I did make the room super cute, especially with her curtain...)

~ ~ ~

Part of me still can't believe it's over.

A bigger part of me kind of feels like it never happened.

You could easily convince me the entire ship experience was merely a long, drawn out dream.